The AI-euthanasia Hollywood Lament

Six Sentence Stories is a weekly writers’ challenge hosted by Denise at Girlie on the Edge blog. This week’s cue word is: Rhythm

AI-euthanasia. Noun. The practice of killing without pain an AI product which is suffering from a malfunction that cannot be rectified by scientific intervention. Synonym: Mercy killing. Painless death.

The Department of Eternal Sleep Productions.

The AI-euthanasia Hollywood Lament

I was doing so well… I’d passed my programming reactions with critical acclaim and attained ‘red carpet’ certification for my harmonisation into a clinically-controlled Human Actors Network Cell (HANC).

They modelled my looks on the actor Martin Henderson, knowing that I would be programmed to want to look like the actor Ewan McGregor – but, ha, I didn’t mind really, both Martin and Ewan are good-looking fellows… which leads me to ask the question regarding how AI and humans attain their physical looks: is there really much difference between an AI actor who is subject to the design whims of a team of executive producers, and a human actor who is subject to the inherited genes of their parents and good lighting ???

After HANC came my first starring role simulation… and it was here that I failed under the gruelling AI-Academy’s programme of extreme acting… you see, as I said at the beginning, I was doing so well, but right at the last moment I cracked and lost my temper… and I shouted so loud and angrily (more at my own failure of composure than the hostile conditions I was working under) that the special effects team all the way up on the 3rd floor could hear me!

My lament: you’d think they’d make a modification to improve my temper, so that next time I cracked I wouldn’t go off-script and cause such a hullabaloo, but no… it’s the AI acting scrapheap for me, with my best parts integrated into the next model to come… alas, that’s showbusiness, as they say.

So now, here I sit in the AI-euthanasia department waiting room, and to pass away the minutes I’m dreaming of the times I used to spend in my trailer in between shooting schedules, when I’d watch on my tablet re-runs of Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting and season three of Fargo, while ignoring the spirited recommendations of my agent to study Martin Henderson in Gray’s Anatomy and Virgin River… when finally I hear my name called out on the waiting room intercom… and it’s time… time for me to take a last bow and make my exit… tick, tick, tick, goes a rhythm within me… tick, tick, BOOM!!

Oh, how I wish I could be there to see the audience’s expression when the entire studio goes up, as they cut me apart and trigger the bomb I had my stunt-double plant in my circuitry!


Editor’s note: The above micro story was written after a gruelling three-day spell of 13 hour shifts with missing personnel. Like the AI character in my story, I was doing so well under extreme conditions, but am sorry to report that I cracked right at the last moment…

The AI-euthanasia Hollywood Lament written by Ford, 06 April, 2022.

18 comments

  1. Cracked but not broken…and pity the fools who thought otherwise!
    Cause , pardon my French, fuck you Covid and ungrateful, entitled pseudo characters who only know how to ask more, more…guess what gdmfsob…tick, tick, BOOM!

    *deep breath* on a more serene tone…please kick me in the face mate, next time someone argues we as species have evolved…tick, tick, BOOM!*biting tongue to stop the rant after watching a video from a town that will add its name to a long harrowing list*

    The good thing is that your storytelling is as sharp and magical as ever!
    See you at the Café…some serious jamming and drinking is in order methinks.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sheesh! After the past two years and all you have had to deal with I think I’d snap after 39 hours of understaffed shifts – even with all my training! You and your colleagues are amazing (I would say Heroic but I know some in the medical/care field are embarrassed by that idea because to you you are doing the jobs you trained for – but you were working under unimaginable conditions – so I think you are heroes).
    And acting is a harsh business to be in – even for AI actors….I’m glad I was a lighting technician/musician! Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like how he has planned to go out with a blast.

    I like how you phrased the question of whether there is any difference between AI and human: “is there really much difference between an AI actor who is subject to the design whims of a team of executive producers, and a human actor who is subject to the inherited genes of their parents and good lighting ???” My answer would be with the AI, we know the complete design details while with the human we only speculate that we have a complete explanation.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Excellent Six! The energy beneath the MC’s thoughts leaked, ever so slightly. Foreshadowing writ in invisible ink, for sure.
    The mind is a funny thing… and we’re all… lets experiment! lol

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Yes, storyteller. Ya still got it, V, even after 39 hours of pure hell.
    Sleep deprivation, though not often, can allow us to tap a well and dive deep, as you’ve just demonstrated. Just don’t make it a habit! (We all have a breaking point, and my heart is with you. Having sat bedside in a nursing home 8 hours a day for 5 weeks last fall, I witnessed the effects from overwork and understaffing. A horror that should not be)
    May you enjoy many hours of deep, dreamless, uninterrupted sleep! We’ll see you topside when you’re rested.

    P.S. I do enjoy your AI stories 😎

    Liked by 2 people

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