The Atomic Mage sucks
… at decorating and unpacking and finding kettles and matching egg cups, and largely at life in general – though it’s always fun trying to make it through another day. Question: How cool can you make a blog look on a WP free account until you decide to plan-up and throw them your hard-earned euros? Don’t ask me. Ask Oppenheimer, the American bald eagle who just moved into the attic space. Oppenheimer has offered to be my new assistant editor in exchange for tea, chocolate cake and French pastries. Oppenheimer already tells me that if you stare long enough at The Atomic Mage home page, the WP header banner eventually disappears under the weight of its own self-importance. Not that I can talk. Have you ever seen any of my profile pics? Good thing I’m not on (insert any social media platform you wish apart from WP and Twitter), I would be a laughing stock. But seriously now, I don’t do pretentious, ever – however, when I do, I do it in style.
WP currently powers 40% of the web (so they told me the other day). When they reach 50% will there be a big party? How about a fancy dress do, where everyone dresses as blocks! Cool. I want an invite, but when I go I’m going to dress up as a classic editor and see how long it takes for security to throw me out on the street. Seriously now, I don’t do bitter, ever – but when I do, I do it with the finest sour grapes the mediterranean has to offer.
It’s not that I hate WP these days, on the contrary I still love it. WP has been a constant in my life the past ten years over at my other blog TVTA (which is on hiatus due to me not being able to afford the bills, a slight case of burnout, and maybe some leftover Covid-19 particles still running around in my brain, and… because WP blocks makes it an unnecessary struggle to edit my picture-heavy posts there).
First I was afraid, I was petrified…
When I first started on WP it was easy and quick to use, just how blogging should be, no? It didn’t take long for me to go down the spangly rabbit holes of their paid plans and, honestly, gain a whole lot of fun and pleasure in their blogosphere. I had purchased a Maserati! Now I am presented with spare parts for a Renault Clio (nothing against Clio drivers – I’ve driven a top of the range one myself, and it was pretty cool – but you get my point. Seriously, I don’t do car shaming, ever – but when I do I choose Clio).
Question: How happy is a Happiness Engineer?
The Atomic Mage has conducted a top-secret, exclusive poll to find out! We asked almost 100 WP Happiness Engineers just how happy they are. You might be surprised at the findings! Below is our poll results table as constructed and presented using super easy-to-manage WP blocks designed to allow the user to create media-rich content on platforms which are not yet broken and are already easy to use and understand.
PARaGRAPH, italic, bold, HOWDY THIS IS A POLL
Title, bold HOW HAPPY IS A HAPPINESS ENGINEER?
- Howdy! THiS iS a LiSt
- OVER THE MOON – 1%.
- VERY VERY VERY VeRY verY HAPPY – 2%.
- Write list…
- MILDLY ANNOYED – 27%%.
- TOTALLY UNIMPRESSED UNHAppY HOWDY BAD – 50%.
- THINKING OF DARK THINGS – 10%.
- WHAT IS THE POINT GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD – 5%.
- ALREADY PUSHING UP DAISIES – 5%
- Write list…
- Write list…
- Write list…
Shocking eh? Almost as shocking as the dog’s dinner blocks has made of my poll results table. Excuse me while I go contact a Happiness Engineer to register my unhappiness…
Seriously though, I don’t make fun of Happiness Engineers, ever – but when I do I only pick on the ones who are happy by nature.
So, atomic mates, what is the point of this post actually? Not to beat up on WP that’s for sure. I only posted here today to test out the blocks, and to show off a couple of art pics. Crikey, this post was only meant to be one sentence long!
Hm. Seems my new assistant editor Oppenheimer has taken my words and ran!
Talking of running, time to end this post. Thanks for joining us 🙂